Vogon Poetry

Vogon poetry is described as "the third worst poetry in the Universe". The main example used in the story is a short piece composed by The Vogon Captain Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz, which roughly emulates nonsense verse in style (example below). The story relates that listening to it is an experience similar to torture as demonstrated when Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect are forced to listen to the poetry (and say how much they liked it) prior to being thrown out of an airlock.

"Oh freddled gruntbuggly,

Thy micturations are to me

As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.

Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,

And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,

Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts

With my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!"

A second example of Vogon poetry is found in the Hitchhiker's Guide interactive fiction game that was produced by Infocom. The first verse is as above; the second verse follows:

"Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt.

Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk!

Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs.

Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose."

An unused extended version of the poem is also excerpted in Neil Gaiman's book Don't Panic: The Official Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Companion, in Appendix III.

A third example appears in The Quintessential Phase of the radio series, again written by Jeltz.

A fourth example appears in And Another Thing..., the sixth book in the trilogy written by Eoin Colfer. The poem is also written by Jeltz